I've learned that I pay attention more than most. I think I notice more things (though I know that sometimes I am oblivious), and care about them more, sometimes to an uncomfortable degree.
I don't think this is necessarily a bad quality, but it leads to a lot of disappointment and hurt feelings, I think because I'm forever surprised when it's not reciprocated. Even though I should know better by now.
It would be good to discard this last part of it, and sometimes I can, but it keeps coming back, like a piece of lint that keeps sticking to your shirt. Or maybe I should just try to be more selective about the things I care about.
I don't know. What seemed like a fairly simple insight is now impossibly muddled.
Posted by thevieve at June 8, 2008 3:24 PM