There's no place to hide, sometimes. When the well of disappointment, built up over a lifetime, overflows, to the point where we can't contain it, where can it go?
People have limits, I know this. And boundaries, which I respect. They're important, and you have your own shit to deal with, always. I do, too. And sometimes I have to (and have had to) say, Enough. I'm full.
But when you are full, and everyone else is full, where can it go? I have people I pay (yes, more than one) to listen to me, or facilitate that listening. But it's not the same. They don't know you, really know you. They're sounding boards. Important, but not the same as understanding. They do, and need to, keep their distance. This is professional, not personal.
What to do then. When pain is felt but not reasonable, nor articulate. When life is shifting but the same old shit, just sparked anew and in different contexts and flavors. When it's too much to hold, too much to feel, too much to deflect. What do you do.
I really don't know. I'm just asking.
And when I'm telling, I'm not blaming, or demanding, or beseeching, or anything. I'm just spilling out the overflow. I'm communicating (which doesn't come easily). I'm trying to make sense of the insensible. Trying to clear it out and make way for something else.
I'm always trying to make way for something else, better, transcendent. I don't want to live in the shit either. Just trying to clear a path. And will help you do it, too, whenever I can.
Posted by thevieve at June 6, 2008 12:01 AM