The One... The Only... The Vieve

Rock star

Things feel so right lately, sometimes I need to pinch myself. Sometimes I cry just a little bit, when the realization, "Holy shit, things are working out so damn well," rushes through me like a gentle sparkling current. It's overwhelming, in a way I'm not at all used to.

There have been other times in my life when things felt good and right. I was happy, things were moving along in exciting and interesting and promising ways. But this time feels different, and I think I've figured out why: before, it felt like things were happening to me; now, I feel like I'm making things happen. Not that I have control over everything that comes my way, but I'm doing a better job of recognizing opportunities and grabbing them. Figuring out what I want and who I want to spend time with and making choices that reflect those desires. Making plans and putting them into action. Formulating a future goal and figuring out how to get there as I go along.

It's made such a difference, and other people notice it too. I talked to the poopyhead the other night, who has known me since I was 15, and she said, "You sound so happy!" I've had people tell me things like, "Wow, you have balls!" and "You rock!" and other sincere flatteries. People, well, they really like me, the real me, not some persona I'm putting on, and they're excited to spend time with me. And everything fun and good and positive feeds on itself and generates more of the same, and it is a great and wonderful thing, especially during this year of so many lessons about loss and love and loneliness.

Maybe it sounds silly, but I feel a little like a rock star.