More bad dreams last night. Like little demons rapping on my head, who can only get in at night when I'm sleeping, defenses down. Death and sadness and pain, my own and others'. I woke up crying.
My legs hurt, back hurts, hand's numb. I'm tired of chronic pain. I'm even more tired of doctors telling me it's "just stress." Yeah, well, that's "just unhelpful," and I'm beginning to think that you're "just an asshole." I have a massage scheduled today, though. I'm hoping she'll pound me into goopy, relaxed jelly.
It's strange, these dreams, this unrest. Besides a few key elements, I suppose, things are pretty good. Some things are even pretty great. But I have a lot going on, maybe too much. Maybe I'm overloaded. I think I need to figure out ways to cope with the new load right now, though, rather than simplify. I need all of these spinning plates in the air at the moment; I need to figure out how to keep them moving.
Posted by thevieve at June 24, 2006 6:47 AM