I've had a rough week. A lot of crying and feeling desperately...lots of things. Desperate and grasping. I've been upset with people, with particular people and with humanity in general, I guess. I don't know what to do with it. How do I confront it? How do I resolve it? Do I confront them? Do I swallow it? I've spent so much of my life not even acknowledging these things. Brushing them aside and pretending, convincing myself so thoroughly, that they don't matter. Now that I can't do that anymore (which I think is positive, at least in the abstract), what do I do with it?
Maybe I can't do anything. That doesn't seem right. Certainly not fair. But maybe that's just how it goes.
I feel like I'm losing my optimism. It comes back in fits and starts, but fades so quickly. I feel like I need a little bit of luck, some good timing. Maybe someone to give me a little lift, a boost up over the fence. But when you ask for it, over and over in different ways, and don't get it, I guess it's safe to say that it won't happen.
Posted by thevieve at June 11, 2006 11:06 PM