Don't think this off-the-grid thing is working so well. Not how I'd hoped. I end up trying to reach out anyway, when I most need it, and sound grasping and foolish. No one will come to me, though. No one can read my mind. But I've also learned not to say what's on it. Fucked seven ways from Sunday.
Realizing I'm upset about Tuesday. I felt so alone, and crazy. Untied and unhinged. I realize now I wanted someone to call and say, "Hi. I know today sucks for you. What can I do?" I'm not sure I knew then, but I know now that I just wanted someone to come over and sit with me for a little while. Just sit, and maybe hold my hand. Let me cry, but unalone.
It's hard to tell when you've asked too much, or whether what you ask for just can't be given. Or if I don't ask the right way, or the right people. I suppose it's all the same in the end. But it makes a difference. It's hard to know when you're met with silence.
Posted by thevieve at June 9, 2006 6:42 AM