I just got back from my sister's engagement dinner. It made me happy -- I am happy for them, completely -- but also kind of jealous and lonely. It's also nice to be old enough to get a little drunk in front of my parents, but still young enough to drink and eat on their dime. (Or hundred-dollar bill, or whatever it might be.)
I guess I should go to sleep now, but I am too full of...too many things. I want company and compliments and cuddles. And sex. With someone trusted and loved (OK, maybe just liked) by me, yet someone who doesn't want attachment and complications. I don't want anyone who will cling to me, or vice versa, or hold me here. Yet I want to want them, at least a little bit, in every way. Emotionally, intellectually, bodily. It's a complicated situation. A difficult balance. I don't think I'll find it (and it won't find me), and that makes me unhappy. I'd just like someone I think is pretty great to make me a little happy, throw caution to the wind for a little pleasure, just for a little while.
Posted by thevieve at June 3, 2006 10:50 PM