Looking at my site statistics thingy, besides revealing some excellent search strings, which I already wrote about, it seems like some new people have found this, from somewhere out there on the great wide interweb.
Hi there. How are you? Good? Great.
I just wanted to mention that, you know, I'm not always this gloomy. I'm always a little neurotic, and often introspective. But the past month has been a big ol' shit sandwich. (Or shit cake. Whatever.) So the writing here has been therapeutic, and not very entertaining or funny, for the most part. It's been an SOS, too. A "help me goddamnit I'm drowning" kind of thing. So I've been doggy paddling away, and using this to help distract me from how fucking tired I am, and how much work sucks right now, and how much it hurts when someone you thought really really liked you decides that you're really...eh, whatever. And you obsessively try to remember compliments given that weren't somehow fished for, and can't really think of any, and start wondering why half of that person's Flickr favorites are pictures of girls but you're not one of them, and a billion other doubts and realizations that probably shouldn't be discussed here but that, as you think of them, scoop out chunks of your self-confidence like an evil psychic melon baller, and then you start wondering what the hell is wrong with you, and you must be utterly unattractive and completely unlovable and and...
Whew, tangent. Sorry. So yeah, shit sandwich. Gloomy and unfun. The point is, I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me, whoever you are. I'm more than what I've mostly been writing about for the past few weeks. This is only a small part of me, which has temporarily swelled to hideously gigantic proportions.
Then again, if you didn't have the sense to know that without me telling you, maybe I shouldn't care what you think anyway.
Posted by thevieve at May 16, 2006 11:30 AM