I've been in a good mood all morning. I was in a pretty good mood last night, too, eventually. But then I get to my office, and the building smells like cat pee because the roof leaks whenever it rains, and the damp soaks into the carpet, releasing malodorous fumes. And I had to send a bitchy email to someone who promised me something would be ready a week ago but so didn't deliver. And I have a crappy copyedit to work on, where on almost every page I've had to write a comment like "I don't understand what is meant by this" or "Does this make sense?" It's giving me fits, but I really need to finish it in the next couple of days.
So I feel the strangely giddy good cheer ebbing out of me. And then I start thinking about a very vievish email I sent last night but never got a reply to, and so I start questioning how it was taken and whether I do actually have those excellent qualities I proclaimed to have. So I'm feeling a little bit like a lonely freakish dumbass right now, even though I know I shouldn't, because it's probably due to the usual reticence, and not anything to do with me. But then I start thinking about the errands and other tasks I need to attend to, which I've put off and felt OK about ignoring, because I've felt so awful lately, so, you know, I'd given myself permission to take a break. But now that I feel kind of better, I should take care of them, but I still don't want to, and now I feel guilty.
I'm my own worst enemy. Well, that and my cat pee office. But I'm still feeling better than I did yesterday.
Posted by thevieve at May 16, 2006 10:28 AM