The One... The Only... The Vieve

Connect

I write here for myself, as I like to say. But I also do it to get a reaction. To connect. It feels a little manipulative sometimes. Because when I say I'm unlovable, I want someone to tell me, "No, that's not true." When I say I'm sad, I want someone to notice and try to cheer me up. When I say I'm angry, I want someone to validate that and say, "Hell yes, you should be angry." And sometimes I want people to feel bad, knowing that I feel bad, and I wish I didn't want that. Because these are the people I care about most, who, in my heart, I really want only good things for.

It's like a manifestation of all my insecurities, broadcast to the masses. I feel guilty writing here sometimes, communicating things for selfish reasons (or maybe self-serving--I think there's a difference). But I guess we're all insecure. I guess we all are a little manipulative. I guess we all want a certain reaction sometimes but wish we didn't. We all want what we want and do what we can to get it. Sometimes it's hard to separate what we want from what's best, though, from what will actually do us some good.