So, if you read this yesterday, maybe you got the impression that I was having a terrible day. I was. The worst day I've had in quite a long time. I spent a lot of it crying, alternated with the desire to shoot someone in the head (anyone would do, but the woman driving 10 MILES PER HOUR down Garden St. would have done nicely).
Nothing particularly terrible happened, but I had a lot of things on my mind. My mysterious stomach/colon problems, my mysterious leg problems, the twisted pain I was feeling all along my right side, my insecurities and frustrations about some of my relationships, sad memories, dissatisfaction with certain parts of my life. And the hormones were out of control, which escalated everything to a critical peak of complete frustration and rage and despair. And I wanted someone to fix it, or at least acknowledge its importance, and I just wasn't getting that to the degree I needed it. (And, to be fair, I think what I needed just wasn't possible at that point.)
So I came home last night and felt kind of shitty for a while, and drank a couple of glasses of wine and took a hot bath, and Chris came over and we watched Willy Wonka and ate some Indian food and chocolate ice cream, and I felt better. Less crazy, less weepy, less angry. And today is a new day, and it's going OK so far. The things that are bothering me are still bothering me, and I'm not feeling exactly giddy with happiness, but at least I feel like I can manage the crap, or at least cope or muddle through.
Days like that happen once in a while, and they're horrible, but they can be instructive, too. I feel like I learned a few things yesterday, which is always a good thing. As long as I don't shoot anyone in the head, I guess everything's A-OK.
Posted by thevieve at April 12, 2006 9:45 AM