Lately I've been feeling kind of nostalgic and sad and old, thinking about the past and missed opportunities and unlived-up-to expectations. Mistakes and lost years. Everything that could have been but wasn't. Wondering whether those things still can be, or whether it's too late.
I guess it doesn't do much good, this looking back, unless it helps you figure out the future. But I'm feeling the need to wallow in it a little bit. The sad times and the helpless-feeling stuckness and the crappy boyfriends and lovers. All the stuff that makes me feel incapable of creating the life I want. The stuff that deadens my spirit and makes me wonder what the hell the point is anyway. And whether I would even recognize it if it bit me on the ass.
I'll try not to wallow too much, but damn. Thinking back on these things, in the mood I'm in now, makes me wonder what the hell my problem is. What's wrong, and how do I fix it?
Posted by thevieve at April 10, 2006 12:19 PMI was feeling a little bit country, so I was listening to a track by Antigone Rising this morning with that title, so this strikes a nerve with me this morning.
There's nothing wrong with you here that isn't wrong with everyone else, vv, really. You're not broken, and you're loved, and you're young. And if you squint, you can see all the choices out there in front of you - no matter what happened in the bad old days. XOX.
Posted by: 'Netter on April 10, 2006 2:03 PMY'know what's awesome? Horrifyingly constructed sentences.
Posted by: 'Netter on April 10, 2006 4:43 PM'sokay, 'nette. In my line of work, I'm long since inured to undesirable sentence constructions, in all of their horrifying permutations. And that was far from horrifying, trust me. :-)
Posted by: Vieve on April 10, 2006 5:28 PMSome brainfood to chew on:
http://www.superherodesigns.com/journal/archives/000850.html
(also: *hug*)
Posted by: mko on April 12, 2006 10:22 AM