November 21, 2005
Pretty puppy
About a year ago, I had to have my dog put to sleep. She was an old girl, long in the tooth and gray around the muzzle, but I had only known her for 2 months before I had to say goodbye. It was gut-wrenching, watching her die slowly on the cold linoleum floor of the animal hospital with her head turned toward the wall. I stroked her side and said softly, over and over, "It's OK, puppy. It's OK."
It wasn't OK. I wasn't OK. I felt like my heart was being ripped out. I wondered if there was anything else I could have done. (There wasn't, and I knew that, but still.) I had rescued her from the shelter, I had walked her, I had bathed her, I had taken her to work every day, I had kissed her nose hundreds of times, and I had loved her. I still loved her. I still love her.
I miss you, Rosie. I miss your huge punkinhead, and your furrowed brow, and your whip-strong tail, and how you would sleep on your back in the most unladylike position, and the way your ears perked up every time I got the leash, and how you loved to be near me all the time. I miss your love and devotion. I miss how you made me laugh and feel loved in the most uncomplicated ways.
You had your idiosyncrasies, and bad habits, and I never was able to make you play nice with other dogs or with the cat, but you were a good dog. A very, very good dog. And I'm grateful I had some time with you, even though you had to leave too soon.
Sleep well, pretty puppy.
Posted by thevieve at November 21, 2005 11:23 AM