The One... The Only... The Vieve

Potpourri

Just like on Jeopardy!, sometimes I get lazy and want to include snippets of random things that lack a cohesive theme. It's better than nothing, no?

Every professional field has its own lingo, not just lawyers and doctors and whatever else. Here's an excerpt from an email I just sent:
"...please move the Intro over to the verso (get rid of the color screen) and place the Ack.s on the facing recto..."
(OK, maybe that's not all lingo. Maybe some of it is my own pidgin book-ese. Whatever.)

I've been going to the gym in the mornings lately for some running and weights and Power Abs (grrr! Power! Abs!), and so I've been watching the various news shows they have up on the TV screens. I am not a news-on-TV lover (or even liker; actually, I'm definitely a hater), but if Katie Couric happens to be in my line of sight, so be it. They always have the captions on, and these are always inaccurate, which can lead to hilarity. Today, there was a story about two men who escaped from prison: "...if captured, the Fudge Fives...".
The FUDGE FIVES! Instead of FUGITIVES! (I'm guessing that's what they meant, anyway.) I almost fell off of the elliptical machine. Holy crap, that was funny.

I was at Newbury Comics last night (home of a decent selection of music, but mostly home of Napoleon Dynamite gewgaws and other novelty crap), and I saw a product called "Candy G-String." See, it's just like a candy necklace, like you used to get in your birthday party loot bags when you were 8, or like those funny people with the pink hair who kept trying to rub you and lick you gave you at that party that time, but you wear it around your pink bits instead of around your neck. Isn't that CLEVER? Isn't that SEXY? Won't that totally give you a YEAST INFECTION? In case you don't want pink sugar goo stuck in your crotch-crevices, they also had a Candy Bra, which might be kind of cute, but probably only if you're an A-cup or have rigid "enhanced" tits like the ones on the box shot's model.

Also, I had the thought yesterday while riding the Porter Square T station elevator that a lot of people wear ugly, ill-fitting pants. But now I'm thinking about all of my pants, and how they don't really fit me, and maybe they're ugly too and I just don't know it?

Closing thought: I should buy some new pants. CANDY PANTS!

Posted by thevieve at November 3, 2005 3:27 PM