I've been reading a bit about meditation, since I've been trying to practice it, albeit sporadically. A few years ago, I started thinking about going to Vipassana ("insight meditation") sittings, since there's a center nearby. But, for one reason or another, I never went. I guess it just wasn't the right time, but maybe now it is.
I've been reading some short...essays? teachings? on their web site, and I came across this:
We are responsible for our efforts in practice, not the results of practice, because the results are beyond our control.
And it made me think about how that applies to so many things in life, and to many of the things I have the most trouble with. I get so frustrated and overwhelmed with my life. I want things to work out a certain way, and I focus on the outcome. I want things settled and "just so." But I can't control how things work out; I can only control my actions and efforts. It's not easy to remember this all the time, and it's often much easier to give up. Wail and moan and gnash your teeth. Get angry at yourself. Get angry at other people. But that doesn't get you anywhere (although you do need to go there sometimes, to the point of craziness, to remind yourself that it's not a good place to be).
Eventually you realize (and then forget, and then realize again, and so on) that some things are beyond your control, and you accept that, and focus on what you can do. Focus on the steps you can take, not the roadblocks that are not your fault. Remember that you have to keep trying, that it's your responsibility to keep trying. You'll get there eventually, even if the "there" isn't the one you had in mind.
Posted by thevieve at August 25, 2005 10:28 AMMeditating (or trying to, rather) is very frustrating. I was taking this mindfulness/meditation class this past spring, and every exercise we did, my mind would just peace out and start to wander, and many times that wandering would turn into racing. I ended up feeling more anxious after the meditation exercise than before it, because I was not able to focus and achieve the zen-like state, or whatever it is. I guess it was kind of counter-productive. Personally, I think it is just a gift, some people have it, some people don't. I have come to accept that I just can't. And so I do other things that are meditative to ME. Like painting pottery. Some peoplemight find something like that really tedious or unpleasant, but whenever I do it, I find myself in the most tranquil place. Maybe you just need to find your own form of meditation!
Posted by: Emily M. Sichterman on August 27, 2005 7:43 AM