I spent some time meditating this morning before I came to work. I bought a CD about a month or so ago, and I've been trying (and not really succeeding) to do at least one 15-minute sitting regularly. It's a basic meditation: sit still, breathe, focus on your breath, notice when your mind wanders and gently pull your attention back to your breath.
My mind wanders a lot. A lot. Hmm, I should cut my nails soon. Is my back straight enough? Am I getting a headache? I wonder what I should bring for lunch. I should call so-and-so this week. Is that neighbor dude screaming at someone on his cell phone again? Et cetera, and so on, ad nauseum. I try to focus on my breath--breathe in, breathe out, simple, right?--but the mind has a mind of its own. Even so, I find it does help, at least temporarily.
The soothing voice on the CD says something like "Ride the gentle waves of breath like the waves of the ocean." So this morning I tried some visualization, and pictured myself floating on an inner tube, slowly bobbing with the motion of peaceful waves. Mmm, nice. But wait, am I floating out with the tide? Maybe there's a riptide! Did I hear a motor in the distance? Is a boat going to hit me??! Aaaahhh! I need to paddle back to shore! Quickly! Aaaaahhhhhh!!!
Seriously. This is where my mind went. From peaceful, calm visualization to mortal danger and panic in about, oh...10 seconds.
My God. What the hell is wrong with me?
Posted by thevieve at August 24, 2005 9:33 AM