I sleep so much. To bed at 10, up at 7. And in between, dogs barking, dreams of screeching brakes and angry voices that startle me awake and leave me gasping, leg gone numb and dead-feeling. Through the night, I can feel my frowning forehead and mouth clenched as if fighting off rictus, and then I wake.
My body moves through its preparations for the day, creaking a bit, and then stiffened, head swimming. Relax, relax. I try to relax. But my muscles are locked in a pattern I can't quite break. Maybe tomorrow. I have to go to work now, get things done, though all I want to do is lie on my bed and stare into space, and try to let my body soften. Instead, I sit in my office and try to look busy and rub my eyes to keep away the tears that drip every so often.
Some days you eat the bear, and some days the bear eats you.
Posted by thevieve at August 22, 2005 9:02 AMI'm the opposite. I don't get enough sleep at all and wish I could get myself to go to bed at 10. As per the tears, I can't even tell you how upset I was at work yesterday morning. I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face but I was discreet enough that no one saw me. I'm feeling a bit better today, but I have a long way to go (there's always some kind of drama going on in my life).
Posted by: moonshine on August 25, 2005 2:11 PM